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In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.

How can a father be engaged in fathering his children if he is locked in his office at home spending countless hours viewing porno sites on the internet?More than just viewing porn, these men are also masturbating. Why do otherwise good fathers and husbands engage in this self-isolating sexual behavior when they have a willing sexual partner available?Would it not be better to try and understand what is happening here between males and females and, through that understanding, develop better ways to cope with this problem?Part of the reason why women are so angry about internet pornography is that it takes their men away from the family and from themselves.The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.

Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.

Why do men engage in viewing pornography both in secrete and in isolation? How can we help men and women understand one another so as to better avoid the bitterness and anger that easily comes between them on this issue? We have had several females state their intention to end their relationship with their male partner and at least one woman has asked if she should break her engagement and impending marriage over the pornography controversy.

We need to ask if this angry approach is good for either men or women over the topic of viewing internet pornography.

It goes without saying that masturbation occurs in isolation, at least under these circumstances, and the wife or partner is not involved in this solo activity. Why do so many men view porn in private and keep it secret from their wives, even from those wives who are willing partners in jointly viewing pornography as a "turn on" preceding foreplay and intercourse? One of the reasons why men who are married, engaged to be married, or have a girl friend with whom they are sexually active, engage in the viewing of pornography in secret has to do with an emotion we recently visited called shame.

Let us see if we can figure out some answers instead of engaging in condemnation. As has been stated in other weblog entries on this site, shame has to do with deep feelings of self-disapproval.

For men, shame issues are directly related to sexual performance, and definitions of masculinity. There is just no pretending; He either ejaculates or he does not.