Since we don’t know for sure what the person is feeling, use words that are gentle and open to possibilities.
“It must be very difficult to be in this situation.” “I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through.” “It seems like things were going well and then this happened.” “I’m not sure, but it appears you are saying that this makes you very angry.” “Do you feel like in a way you were blindsided?
We are not confirming that the feelings are right, or correct, or even okay. Simply stated, “We are confirming that they have just received an emotional package.” The challenge is to allow them open the emotional package the way they want to open it.
Statements of Validation Try to validate the feelings the person has shared.
Validation nurtures emotional safety, honesty and expression of underlying emotions.
Bringing about feelings of being understood, establishes a basis for emotional safety.
• If I validate someone who is hurting me, they will continue to hurt me.
It is important to remember the purpose of validating.Validation occurs when we confirm, mostly through words, that other people can have their own emotional experiences.A simple statement like, “It must be difficult and painful to have something like that occur,” can be validating.Part of human nature is to be understood, feel wanted and needed.Learning to validate our feelings and those of others builds emotional bridges.” “It appears to me that you felt very disrespected in this situation.” “It must be difficult to have so much sadness around this issue.” “I’m sensing that this brought up real feelings of betrayal.” “Tell me if I have it correct.