Pathetic dating profiles

George and I had both shown our films at the 2004 Berlin Film Festival. We all hugged and, even though we hadn't seen each other for years, we were strongly in each other's psyche.

There were a couple of photographers in the building with quite expensive equipment and my patrons, being good neighbours, were simply being responsible.

So there I was, listening to Talking Heads as loud as I could, painting away at my Turkish boat going underneath the bridge at Rochester, when I heard the doorbell ring. I stopped prancing around in my dungarees to see a guy leaning across the steps waving at me through the window. The window was double-glazed, so I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying.

Even though it was his boyfriend, Kenny, who lit George's fire, I still mentally associated George with millions of screaming female fans.

Years later, I bumped into George and Kenny at Heathrow airport, as we all rolled off a BA flight from Berlin.

We shared a spirit of camaraderie as we waited for Kenny to clear immigration.

And then the pair of them swiftly disappeared through a secret door, special services.Carefully putting it into my pocket (in my pathetic, drunken stupor), I thought: "I mustn't lose that." Of course, I did.But I remember thinking at the time how many millions and trillions of women in the world would love to have George Michael's phone number.Here I was, flying across the Irish Sea, with the Womble beside me, George and Kenny opposite. And then, more seriously, I say: "Your mum and dad - have they always been proud of you?George's lovely sisters (who are extremely funny) are on board too, along with the rest of the entourage. " "No," he says, "I've just always been interested in Margate, 'cause I used to go there as a kid." "Yeah," I say, "There used to be a massive Cypriot community down there." I remember in 1974 it was my and my brother's birthday party. " George goes quiet for a while, looks up sadly and replies: "Yeah.There's nothing camp about George and Kenny whatsoever. " "June the 25th," he says "And we're both Cancerian and both born in the same year, 1963." "So you're 43 as well? She comes across as a big influence, almost like a mentor of sorts.