Online dating messaging

As an avid dater, online and off, and as someone who used to work for Dating Coach Evan Marc Katz, helping clients write their profiles, I saw many common online dating mistakes.

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Mainly, online daters didn’t market themselves in the best possible way, which made it challenging for others to initiate contact with them.For instance, the more specifics you have in your profile, the more your future partner can ask you about.Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.

Maybe they set a more casual tone that people prefer, though I have to say, You had me at ‘what’s up’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

So, in short, it’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated.

Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.

Besides, when you tell a woman she’s beautiful, chances are you’re not.

On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.

I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.