When Is the Right Time and What Is the Right Way to Introduce a Guy I'm Dating to My Kids? Because their dad had already introduced them to his girlfriend and everything went fine, I figured they wouldn't give me a hard time.But they're girls and I'm their mom, so it was a whole different thing.I've been at it for three-plus years now, so let me take a stab at what I suspect are your most pressing questions--they were surely mine. I know people who waited years before deciding to take the plunge and some who threw themselves into it instantly. If there's another parent in the picture and you share custody, you will suddenly have something called free time, which you may remember from your pre-mom days.
My older daughter was not cool with my even mentioning my boyfriend and announced that she refused to meet him.
Ultimately, about eight months into it, I invited him to join us at a dinner party with some family friends.
Several months after my husband and I separated, it finally occurred to me that I was free to date. The last time I'd been single, I'd had copious amounts of free time, was beholden to no one, and believed in love.
Now, however, I had 16 years of marriage and 11 years of motherhood under my belt, plus a less-than-starry-eyed attitude about romance.
People do get fixed up, from what I hear, and I suppose there are women who can make things happen at bars, playgrounds, and big-box chain stores. The fact is, you're a busy mom, which means you're often housebound.
If you want to have some control over the process, carve out a few hours for yourself and your laptop during your kids' naptime or after they're asleep. (Surely there's an old flame, or a friend of a friend of a friend worth, um, friending? Having children is such a life-altering experience that it can be hard to relate to men who don't get the intense pull on your heart and pressure on your time that is parenthood.
Once you're really, solidly a couple, how you handle this depends a lot on your own values and the age of your kids, and how long you and your guy have been together.
Fink feels strongly about keeping her sex life and her parenting life completely separate.
I was afraid that if I jumped right back in, I'd just end up in another unhealthy relationship with someone else--which wouldn't be good for me or my kids."She took the plunge about five months after she and her husband separated.
I decided to enter the fray about four months after my ex-husband moved out. For one thing, I couldn't bear to face another kid-free weekend doing jigsaw puzzles or watching English period dramas.
) Or join an online dating site where you can cast your net as wide as you'd like. In my three-plus years of postmarital singledom, I've gone on one or two dates with non-dads, but my two longer-term relationships have been with fathers.