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I was so embarrassed about being one of the great untouched that during my Freshman year, I made up a story about having gotten laid during Spring Break just to feel like I was one of the “normal” people.

that much in hopes that I might hit that metaphorical home run.

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We get the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative burned into our minds early on, reinforced over and over again by pop-culture until we start to believe it’s the TRVTH, carved into stone tablets delivered to us at the base of Mount Sinai.

The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance.

Because when we fail to follow the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative, the fault lies with .

Speaking of stories: I want to tell you the story about my first time. Not too far off from the average age of 17 actually, but even had I known, it wouldn’t have made me feel better at the time.

They talk about feeling broken or unworthy, that they’ve missed some sort of open time frame where they could lose their virginity and now they’re (metaphorically) screwed.

It feels like to 50 – that they can’t bring themselves to talk about it.Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.What are you supposed to do about the fact that you’re one of the Great Untouched?They can’t bring themselves to approach women, so they don’t have opportunities to lose their virginity. We live in a culture that seems to go out of its way to imply that everyone is having sex and you aren’t. In fact, the number of people having sex in high school is actually from 54% in 1991 to 43% in 2011.They continue to get older, becoming even of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are. So let’s talk a little about the problems with the way we think about male virginity… Stories of blowjobs being traded as casually as handshakes in high-school, and the hang-wringing over college hook-up culture make the world sound like a never-ending bacchanal for those who are lucky enough to take part. Similarly, college isn’t the hotbed of casual sex that we think it is; students tend to regularly overestimate just how much their fellow classmates are hooking up rather drastically. The first is that we’ve been handed a shared narrative via pop-culture that directly affects how we our lives are supposed to be.When you’re focused on your identity as Virgin with a capital V, it can feel like everybody else is at a party that you’ve been left out of, even as it’s going on all around you. Prom goes from just a dance to THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE, a night when you’re supposed to confess your love and slip away to lose your virginity.