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Some grinders were as genteel as the ladies at a book club; some wanted true love, others new friendship.

This subculture was populated with all sorts of people—like any community.

I was honest, yet some men still treated me like a trespasser.

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exact location, I could see him on a map, too, in the shape of a red pushpin.I knew to expect only one thing when our dot and pushpin met: that the guy wouldn't look much like his tiny picture. But the Grindr team, in September, was launching a new app, Blendr—which was not just for gay guys but for Everybody.They actually market themselves on the thoroughness of their interrogations: What are your favorite sports, your taste in movies, your eye color?They have it all down to a science, selling their sites on that old adage, "Similars attract." On Grindr, you are permitted to write a 120-character profile and upload a photo, and that's pretty much all you get to spark that digital First Look Across the Room.As any grinder knows, someone who doesn't supply even a fake or a ridiculously old pic is to be shunned at all costs.

And whoever hooks up with a guy who spends his 120 profile characters praising his own hunky looks or demanding "Whites only" gets what he deserves.Grinding is less a pastime than a palm-sized addiction. Grinders spend an average of ninety minutes on the app every day—and not just in one session. In my experience, that's an unrealistic number. I never wanted to get to the neurotic stage where I logged on while walking around, so I made a point of doing less walking around. My theory was that Tops took it as a challenge, whereas Bottoms seemed to feel they'd already come up short in our imagined duel of wits, and that was good enough for them.It is also standard practice among grinders to steer clear of certain red flags.Baz kissed him, on the mouth, and it reminded him of the first time they kissed.Except there was no danger, or fire, and the only hot thing in this cold night was Simon and Baz's body's colliding."S-Snow, ah, let's go to our, ah, bed." Baz moaned out. "Mmh, right now." He peppered kisses all the way from his collarbone to his happy trail, only stopping when Baz started to bite his ear, like Simon was doing earlier.