If you love a married woman and you’re in a love relationship with her, read this post.
The question is whether or not the married man will fix this intimacy issue with this wife.
It’s hard to tell, some couples can pop out of a triangle and do the work of recommitment, others can’t and end up doing it apart, alone, or with someone else.
Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.
He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my world that’s an opportunity for growth because triangles are no good for people.
Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.
The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).
His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.
The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.
In this kind of triangle with two men and a woman, there are instances when the two men fight over the woman.