Scientifically, this is because it’s a little evil sounding.So, in short, it’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated. We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.NEXT: Before You Go [pagebreak] Your first meeting is about you, certainly, but says psychologist, sex therapist, advice columnist, speaker and author, Dr.Joy Davidson, the stakes are generally higher for her.Maybe they set a more casual tone that people prefer, though I have to say, You had me at ‘what’s up’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.
There are many words on the effective end of our list like (double yes!
) that are all clearly referencing something important to the sender, the recipient, or, ideally, both.
Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.
The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.
Our negative correlation list is a fool’s lexicon: was also a successful word, but much less so (33%).
We’re presenting just a smattering: in fact every “niche” word that we have significant data on has a positive effect on messaging., no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages.