The I-don’t-know-what-is-going-on phase of a proto-relationship can continue far longer now.
Telegraph Dating is an online dating service that will help you find women and men like you.Our goal is simple: to add love, romance and fun to the lives of single people.If I’m bored or lonely, there’s always a temptation to reconnect.Perhaps among all those frogs there was actually a prince? Strange then, I realised recently, that I have rarely been properly on my own.
I haven’t lived with a boyfriend, introduced anyone to my parents, or been on a mini-break.‘I don’t bother to use Facebook the rest of the time, but when someone interesting pops up I’m all over it, uploading flattering pictures, subjecting my friends to a barrage of witty status updates.’ As Voyer explains, ‘People are increasingly constructing two identities – their online identity, and their offline identity.’ He points to Twitter in particular, saying that ‘new ways of interacting have widened the gap between our actual selves – who we actually are – and our “ought” selves – who we think other people want us to be.’ So, proper, honest, face-to-face communication is key. ’ ‘We’re friends – you’re my friend.’ At this point, I’d been sleeping with this man for…Unfortunately, for a generation practically weaned on telecommunication devices, person-to-person communication is not exactly our strong suit – as evidenced by a stand-up argument I recently had with a man I was seeing. well, far longer than I care to admit; yet most of our communication was via text message or drunken conversations at the end of the night.We were having a drink in the pub when I referred to him, to his face, as my boyfriend. In retrospect, it was clear that our ‘relationship’ was no such thing, that he wasn’t willing to give me what I wanted and deserved.But I’d missed this fact entirely because I’d read what I wanted to into his messages – and because we were in constant communication. Plenty of couples owe their entire relationships to technology.We’d made vague plans to see each other that night. Like me, you are probably so used to keeping your options open – and not deciding what you’re doing on a Friday night until about 6.59pm that evening – that the idea of ‘dating’ seems pretty foreign. Increasingly, we ‘hang out’ – and not necessarily as a twosome. The social psychologist Ben Voyer warns that while texting and online messaging are perceived to be easier than face-to-face contact or a telephone conversation, in the medium to long term they can make things more difficult. Your guess is as good as mine.) ‘Face-to-face contact is much richer.