“If you've been dating someone exclusively for several months and they mention future plans for living together and so forth, it's safe to assume that your partner truly wants to invest in the future of your relationship together,” Dr. Referring to your potential plans as “when” instead of “if” implies that you’re both confident about the future and can see each other in it.
The next time your SO talks about future living arrangements or career opportunities, pay close attention to see if you might be a part of that.
So I would just take on all of the crap and pretend that everything was OK. It sure is, until you realize that you are not really participating in the relationship or giving that person a chance to be great for you. If they can't find a place to support you in your life, they aren't going to stick around. So I made a promise to myself and him, that if I was frustrated or needed something from him, I would ask for it.
As a chronic over-analyzer, if I am not careful I spend time thinking instead of doing. And by rocky I mean I would freak out if I didn't hear from him in the timeline I expected and if I even grabbed a sniff of getting hurt.
Honestly, it was all of my stuff from past dates and relationships. I believe that during that early time we need to have a couple of solid people in our lives as a reality check.
We still have fears, freak out, lose our minds and occasionally mess up. Because we are looking for a stable, consistent loving relationship, it is NO ONE'S job to put up with your BS.
So here is what I did right (and wrong) in the first six months of my relationship. You can have a crappy day, talk about it, ask for hugs and support, but you can't lash out. Why this worked: Trust is easier to build when we can observe someone who is responsible for their actions. Right (and wrong): Talked everything out like a mofo!
Not that your friends and family don't want the best for you... It is just wrapped up in their own fears, experiences and projections. Where my own mindsets and fears were holding me back from that and how the hell to ask for it. I am going to be sharing a ton in my FREE workshop, Five Reasons You Are Not Ready for Love and What the Hell To Do About It on July 26th!
If you are at the point of walking away from a potentially wonderful relationship, bring in a professional if you need to. Without those things, you are just trying to fit yourself into other people's ideas of a happy relationship. After working through my stuff and getting clear, I know this is really working. When it didn't: Too much of a good thing is not always good thing.Although I find the psychology and human motivation of relationships beyond fascinating (even my own), enjoying the relationship is way more important. In the beginning there were times where things were rocky.If your relationship still feels fresh and exciting, you two are likely to have a long road ahead.Schedules, distance, work and many other obstacles can put a damper on your relationship.As a former runner from relationships, I am so flippin' scared of getting hurt that I will look for reasons.