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In some cases the partner who’s out the door says they’re no longer “in love” with their spouse, in others there was an affair and in still others there have been years of resentment built up from poor treatment, lack of an emotional connection, minimal help with the home and kids, etc.Regardless of the reasons, the set up is that one partner wants out (or, minimally, space) while the other one wants the marriage.

And please—don’t EVER tell them that you can’t live without them or insinuate in ANY way that you may harm yourself or kill yourself because of the pain they caused you.

The moment you do that, you just confirmed for them that you’re not healthy enough for them to be in a relationship with.

Over the years I’ve had countless couples come into my office on the verge of divorce.

In several of these couples, one partner is all but out the door while the other partner is fighting for one last chance to save the marriage.

If they complained about your lack of help—step up and get responsible—help them.

If they complained that you never listened, were emotionally unavailable or work too much—be present, listen and stop zoning out and escaping.

Don’t send manic texts, make frantic phone calls or go on an angry rampage about how unfair this is and how it’s really all your spouse’s fault. There are few things more attractive than confidence and strength.

When you’re in front of your spouse—be strong and hold it together.

Don’t hound them with questions about what they’re feeling, text them incessantly when you become insecure, look to them for reassurances that they still love you, pressure them to have sex or throw yourself on them for sex.

Don’t act like a sick puppy and beg, plead, cry or tell them how utterly distraught you are.

The great observer rarely fails to notice even the most subtle changes in his ever more paranoid showbiz pals.