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When I first found out about Doug’s emotional affair, I frantically researched books and the internet on surviving infidelity, as I wanted to know how long affairs last.

What I found was that most resources sited only 10% of cheating spouses in affairs move on to long term relationships. Well, if I were a betting person, the odds seemed to be in my favor.

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He didn’t maintain much contact with his wife or any of his kids at all.

It only took him three months to realize that his affair partner couldn’t give him everything he needed. It is an illusion that the cheating spouse sees the affair partner as a perfect person/companion.

I felt that they were meant to be together and that they had figured out what it took to have a lasting long term relationship. In the beginning it may appear flattering that a person would lie and break their commitment to their spouses just to be with another.

Obviously I was wrong, and after watching my brother’s affair go down the tubes, I have come to some conclusions on why affairs don’t last. However, as the relationship progresses, the cheating spouses begin to wonder if they are lying and betraying each other as well.

Besides the obvious of losing their current spouse, they are subject to lose the love and respect of their children, friends and family.