A Quarter Century: Your twenties is the beginning of adulthood, an independent life that belongs to no one else but you.It’s a time when you construct a future; a platform of sorts that will benefit you later down the road.
While drugs and booze don’t cause avoidance, by and large, they both can be powerful contributors to making it worse. When you are mobilized in the small things of life, you begin to feel better; and naturally you become open to bigger opportunities if they come your way. And life is a combination between feeling special and realizing that we are but a grain of sand in this universe. Sometimes young men and women are avoidant because they are burdened without knowing it. You have needs to be met regardless if there are starving people in the world.We human beings have a natural drive to grow and thrive on our own. Has there been some deep cultural undermining of the dignity of every human being? Taking steps toward independence is something to be proud of and will promote self esteem, it doesn't matter what an 8 year old across the planet does...Avoidant people suffering from mental health problems simply become more avoidant. Goodbye to Drugs & Booze This is easier said than done. Most Avoiders that I’ve worked with claim the party line that weed helps with creativity and is medically legal in many states. A small job may open the door to something much better. The Rat Race: I am not interesting in you (or anyone else) participating in our collective rat race. The key, however is to sense your own dignity and have the capability to establish your life as you want it - not as a default position, but as an embraced statement about who you are and want to be. MB Aaron, as you've pointed out, you're quite capable.Truth be told, marijuana can be a powerful way to avoid feeling the anxiety required to mobilize oneself. Focus on a healthy daily routine: getting out the house, living a scheduled life and exercising are moves in the right direction. I just hope that you don't abdicate any dreams to depression, poor economics, an avoidant style or smoking weed everyday. You don't "hate" feeling like a burden or you wouldn't be.He games himself into thinking that all will be fine—tomorrow.
So, he smokes weed to cut down on anxiety; plays video games to fill up his time and “connects” on Facebook for endless hours, while living in the room that he grew up in To be fair, not everyone who comes home after college is an Avoider. So, healthy young adults come home in order to find internships, jobs or opportunities and look to launch out again at the first opportunity.And, there is the not-so-unconscious wish to have someone else take care of you. Ultimately, parents may want to consider setting up boundaries for their children, and also for themselves.Consider requiring a contribution to live at home; or perhaps rent or work. Criticism Rarely Works If you are parenting an adult child who is avoidant, they will take your criticism as part of their problem. It is good that your son or daughter experience some anxiety.If you're a parent, you may have your own Avoider; and any your friends may be co-dependent with a 25-year-old son. First things first; you can't underestimate the destructive power of a terrible economy on a person's psyche.Unlike a baby boomer who grew up in a time of unprecedented growth, today’s opportunities seem to be saturated for generation Y.It's a developmental moment as basic as a first-grader getting on the bus.